The
Corpse Goddess
By
Kristi Jones
Genre:Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Evernight Publishing
ASIN:B008EZXJ7E
Number of pages: 274
Word Count: 79,034
Blurb/Book Description:
Party girl Meg Highbury wakes up
the morning of her twenty-first birthday with one hell of a hangover – and a
walking corpse in her apartment. Meg
turns to her straight-laced neighbor Armando for help and together they
discover that Meg is a Valkyrie.
What’s more, her first duty is to
trade places with the corpse. But Meg is
being sent to her Death Duty too soon. In a race against time, Meg frantically
tries to find a loophole to her gruesome fate, but while Meg is determined to
live whatever the cost, Armando's strict moral principles keep getting in the
way of her plans for escape.
Can Meg walk the 'right' and
narrow path, possibly sacrificing her mortal life, for love? And if she can,
will Armando have the stomach to love a rotting corpse of a girl who is falling
apart in more ways than one?
Excerpt:
Tee picked up on the
third call. “Wha’ is it?” Tee mumbled, obviously still half asleep.
“Tee. What. The. Hell?”
“Whosis?”
“It’s me, Meg. What
the hell was in those drinks last night?”
“Drinks?” Tee
coughed. Meg heard the flick of a lighter, the gentle grind of flint against
steel, and waited for Tee to suck down her first drag of the day. “What’re you
talking about?”
“The wine,” Meg
said, her voice a screeching tire. She kept her eyes on the zombie. She stared
at it for two reasons. One, to be ready in case it made any sudden moves. And
two, hoping that it would suddenly vanish, and she would be free to get off
this freak show carnival ride. “The Merlot we had last night. In the
graveyard.”
“Oh,
yeah. That. Why? What’s up? You want some more?”
“No,” Meg said,
biting back a scream. “I do not want some more. I want to know why there is a
freaking zombie standing in my apartment.”
“What happened to
you last night? Danny was asking for you.”
“Tee, listen. Focus.
I need to know. Did you put something special in the wine? A little birthday
boost?”
Tee laughed. “Shit,
Meg. Did you sleep with Danny?”
“What?”
“He is a lousy lay.
No doubt. Thinks he’s in love with you, right?” She laughed again. “Kick his
ass out, girl. He’s got no business staying over if you want your privacy.”
“I don’t want my
goddamn privacy, Tee! I have a zombie in my apartment!” Meg screamed. The
zombie jumped at the sound of her scream, as if a bolt of electricity had
suddenly brought the thing to life.
“Stay back!” Meg
said in a pleading tone of voice. Her heartbeat went into overdrive, and it set
her teeth chattering painfully together.
“Whoa,”
Tee said, obviously offended.
“Don’t get all commando on me. Not my fault you fucked up and shagged a loser.”
The
zombie jerked its right leg forward. Then the left.
“Oh, shit,” Meg
whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks now. “Shit, it’s coming.”
“Meg, you really
need to get a grip. Just say no, girl. Just because it’s coming, doesn’t mean
you have to take it.”
“I don’t think I
have any control over that, Tee,” Meg said, explosions of fear wracking her
body.
“You want my advice?
Sleep it off, Meg. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Tee, wait…”
Meg heard a click
and then the dreaded dial tone. Her best friend, her only real friend, had
disconnected the call.
The zombie jerked
toward her, snapping and creaking with every step. Meg crab-walked backwards,
scuttling off her bed and landed on the floor with a painful thud.
Her mind racing,
playing catch-up with what her eyes were seeing, Meg tried to come up with a
plan. She could shove the thing, hard enough to make it fall, maybe into a
hundred pieces like one of those plastic toy snap skeletons her parents liked
to give on birthdays. The next part of the plan was easy. Run. Run away as fast
as her feet would carry her.
Her studio apartment
was just under five hundred square feet. The front door was not more than a few
paces away.
But what if the
thing moved faster than she expected, like a lazy alligator suddenly darting
for the kill?
She still had her
phone in her hand, but whom could she call? Meg didn’t have many close friends,
and you couldn’t call a casual acquaintance to help with a walking corpse, real
or imagined.
The zombie walked
around the bed, coming for her. The smell emanating from the thing was turning
the wine in her stomach to vinegar, but Meg swallowed back the nausea. She
threw back the comforter and clambered off the bed, keeping her eyes on the
zombie. Pieces of rotting gray cloth and leaves fell to the floor.
It was coming
closer, no more than three feet away now.
Meg’s heart ran a
thumping rhythm inside her chest, and she broke out into a cold sweat that left
her shivering on uncertain legs.
“Stay back,” she
said, but the thing stepped closer, its bare knee bones peeking through the
shredded trousers.
Panicked, Meg lunged
forward, legs scrambling, stomach lurching. She thrust out her hands, making
contact with the zombie.
The impact, when it
came, was like a jacked-up haunted house gimmick. She felt her fingers plunge
through the fabric of the thing's tattered white shirt as her hands sank into
its rotting chest. The
flesh beneath its shell of leathery skin was surprisingly gooey. Her hands sank
into the gelatinous mess, and she had a fleeting thought that this was
how people went crazy. She could feel her mind slipping away from the shocking
reality of her predicament and into a deep, dark hole somewhere in the depths
of her mind.
And then the rancid
flesh embraced her, pulled her in. An intense burning triggered her hands to
start shaking, and the sensation traveled up her arms. She screamed and tried
to pull her hands away, but they stuck, super-glued to the monster. A bolt of blue
ran across the zombie's chest. Meg screamed again, howling like a wounded
animal, desperately trying to free herself from a nightmare she didn't quite
believe in.
The Corpse Goddess Music Play List
Changes by David Bowie
All This and Heaven Too by Florence and the Machine
Monsters by Matchbook Romance
When We Were Young by The Killers
Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses
99 Problems by Hugo
Demons by Imagine Dragons
Ain't No Grave by Johnny Cash
Dead! by My Chemical Romance
Carry Me Down by Demon Hunter
Gravedigger by Willie Nelson
Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner
Everybody's Changing by Keane
The Interview:
The Interview:
1.
What is your favorite critter that
goes bump in the night?
An armadillo! Seriously, I live in
Texas and they’re always running around the neighborhood at night. They freak
me out, with their dinosaur skin and weird hobbling walk!
How did you first get interested in
zombies?
You know, I think I first got
interested in zombies back in the 80s with The
Return of the Living Dead. I loved the humor in that film because really,
the whole idea of zombies is sort of ridiculous…and yet incredibly frightening
at the same time.
Where did the storyline to Corpse
Goddess come from?
I
guess I’ve always had a macabre fascination with what happens to our bodies
after we die. When zombie fiction and zombie films started to make a ‘come
back’, I started thinking about what it would be like to become a zombie. I’ve
always had a thing for Valkyries and somehow the two things just blended
together in my mind. There are a lot of myths and legends from around the world
dealing with the dead walking the earth…I tried to create a world where this is
really happening.
What was the toughest scene you ever had to write?
One of my beloved characters doesn’t
make it. That was tough. I love the character and I kept taking breaks. Killing
your darlings is never easy!
Walking Dead vs. Zombieland?
Both! I love The Walking Dead, but
of course the humor in Zombieland really strikes home for me. Sorry, can’t
choose one over the other!
Shaun of the Dead vs. Fido?
Shaun
of the Dead, hands down! Love that film!
Who are some of your favorite
authors?
I love Stephen King. I’m one of his
constant readers. I also like Neil Gaiman, Justin Cronin, Kate Morton, Rosamund
Lupton, Victoria Holt, Jane Austen, John La Carre, Sarah Waters, and many, many
more. I don’t think there’s anything I won’t read.
In the book, the main character
wakes up and has a zombie kind of hanging out. Did zombies give you nightmares
as a kid and what would you do if you woke up with a zombie in your room?
When I was about six or seven years
old, we lived in England. I used to follow my parents around, visiting old
churches to do brass rubbings. There were always graveyards in the churchyard.
One time, I saw an open stone coffin…these stone coffins or sarcophagi are all
over Britain…and went to investigate. To this day, I don’t remember what I
actually saw, but I remember this feeling of a terrible presence. I’ve been
afraid of the rising dead since that day.
If I woke up and found a zombie in
my room, I’d probably try to talk to it! I also think I’d be like Meg and not
quite believe it.
Baseball bat vs. machete?
Oh, a machete for me…I’m not strong
enough to inflict much damage with a baseball bat, but I think I might do okay
with a machete!
What are you currently working
on?
I’m finishing up a paranormal romance
tentatively titled An Inconvenient Ghost. It’s about a no-nonsense scientist,
Raine Cunningham, who is haunted by her Dad’s ghost. She doesn’t really believe
in the supernatural, but having exhausted all other options, she is forced to seek
out the help of a gorgeous medium to try and get rid of the ghost before her
impending nuptials. Dad’s ghost has a purpose though and Raine’s desire for a
normal life is wildly derailed!
When I finish that, I’m diving into
the second Corpse Goddess book!
YAY!
Thanks Kristi for hanging out with us today!
Author
Bio:
Kristi Jones spent her childhood
exploring European castles, crumbling manor houses and ornate cathedrals,
always looking for secret passages and hidden rooms. She holds a degree in European history and
loves to throw ‘ordinary’ characters into extraordinary circumstances.
She currently lives in south
Texas with her husband and two children, who inspire her daily. She is a member of the Writers’ League of
Texas and Romance Writers of America.
She loves old movies, being a Mom, the feel of paper in her hands and
things that go bump in the night.
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