Rusty Fischer: My Big, Fat, Undead Zombie Crush

My Big, Fat, Undead Zombie Crush:

A FREE Poem of the Living Dead

By Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don’t Cry

Copyright © 2012 by Rusty Fischer

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

Cover credit: © tankist276 – Fotolia.com

My Big, Fat, Undead Zombie Crush

I had a little

Zombie crush;

Oh no, I fear

I’ve said too much.

You’re not supposed

To crush on them;

If your heart beats

You are… human.

And you should only

Date your kind;

But I had zombies

On my mind.

Yes he was cute

And quite undead;

When I saw him

My face turned red.

And finally

I caught his eye;

And from my mouth

Escaped a sigh.

We talked before

He made his move;

Which was anything

But super smooth.

In fact, it was

 A little whacked;

That zombie went

And broke my back!

But that’s okay

That is just fine;

He showed me his

I showed him mine.

You see, before he

Crushed me in two;

He went and made me

A zombie too!

So now I can

No longer feel;

That startling

Zombie appeal.

Of course, I can’t

Feel anything;

But I would not

Go back again.

I can’t go back

My legs are broke;

To watch me walk

Is quite a joke.

So here I sit

In Zombie Land;

So safe beside

My zombie man.

So heed these words

Yes, listen all;

Before in love

You do fall…

Make sure that he’s

The living sort;

Or your romance

Will be cut short.

Unless, that is

You’re tired of livin’;

Then to a zombie

You should give in.

About the Author:

Rusty Fischer

        Rusty Fischer is the author of Zombies Don’t Cry, as well as several other popular zombie books, including Panty Raid at Zombie High, Detention of the Living Dead and the Reanimated Readz series of 99-cent living dead shorts.

        Rusty runs the popular website Zombies Don’t Blog @ www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com. At Zombies Don’t Blog you can read more about Rusty’s work, view his upcoming book covers and read – or download – completely FREE books & stories about… zombies!

Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don't Cry (Medallion Press, 2011)
Visit my zom-blog @ www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com

Thanks Rusty for being on the blog today! Happy Halloween everyone! 

The Mortician's Wife Virtual Tour

The Morticians Wife
Maralee Lowder

Genre: Paranormal Romance

Publisher: Taylor Street Books

ISBN: 13: 978-1480011229

ASIN:  B009KDVFEI

Number of pages:194

Word Count: 71000

Cover Artist: Tim Hewtson

Amazon

Book Description: 

“I have spent the night in supposedly some of the most haunted buildings in America. I have met people who could fairly be described as evil incarnate. I have been to the Old Mortuary in Dunsmuir. It is gorgeous but I wouldn't spend a single night there.” Kathleen McKenna, author of horror novels 'The Wedding Gift' and 'Family Matters'.

Five miles from the new age Mt. Shasta City, the sleepy Northern California town of Dunsmuir plays host to a nightmarish house – the Old Mortuary – where the mortician's wife spent four decades alone, and some say insane, sleeping in an alcove off one bedroom where she believed the evil spirits of the house could not get to her, harboring terrible secrets.

With the steady flow of dead bodies through the basement and the murderous events upstairs, this is the story of how the Old Mortuary of Dunsmuir became one of the most haunted houses in America as a result of the personality and misdeeds of one man, Horace Carpenter, whose eternal soul most certainly does not rest in peace, as many will attest, and probably never will.

Blog for Zombiegirl Shambling

By

Maralee Lowder

Author of

The Mortician’s Wife

Although my most recent book, The Mortician’s Wife, is a work of fiction, the building that plays a huge part in the story actually does exist.  And, yes, it is also very haunted.

During the fifteen years I have lived in Dunsmuir, the town that houses the mortuary of my book, the building has been owned by several different people.  Some of them say it is haunted, others say it is not.  I tend to believe those who admit to having other worldly experiences while living in the old building. 

I, myself, have toured the building several times without experiencing anything out of the ordinary.  But, then, I am not the sort of person who was blessed (or cursed?) with that sort of ability.  Since other members of my family do possess those attributes, I remain quite open minded on the subject.

The current owners, Nancy and Brad Warner, readily admit to experiencing quite a variety of spiritual activities.  As an example let me tell you about the very first night they stayed in their newly acquired home.  They had brought all of their furniture in, but had not set up their bed yet.  So, they placed their mattress on the main floor, in the living room.  There was a roaring fire going in the fireplace, they had the lights turned on and were watching a DVD on their computer.  Suddenly, everything went off—the lights, the computer…and the fireplace! 

Brad spoke into the darkness, “We are going to be living here…this is our home now.  We are not going to try to make you leave.  All we want is to live here in harmony with you.” At that moment everything came back on.  The lights turned on.  The computer came back on.  And, yes, the fire in the fireplace suddenly relit itself.

This is an absolutely true story.  It was just the first of many unexplainable happenings that have occurred, and continue to occur to my friends. It can be quite unnerving at times, but Brand and Nancy have vowed to continue living the house.  They love it and want to share it with others.  After having refurbished the building from top to bottom, they will soon be opening it for overnight guests.

How about it?  Do you think you would like to spend the night in Dunsmuir’s Old Mortuary?  Do you think you would make it through the night?   It’s something to think about!

About the Author:

Maralee Lowder found so much pleasure in reading such a wide spectrum of romance genres, she has never been able to write in just one.  Her novels run the gamut of contemporary, historical, humorous, horror, paranormal and suspense. 

Look for the sequel to "The Morticians Wife"  coming soon

http://www.maraleelowder.com

http://www.authorsden.com/maraleelowder

https://twitter.com/MaraleeLowder

 Okay zombie readers. You know you want to win one of 15 ebook copies and perhaps a print one...this book is a great read for those months where the nights are long and the lights are low...

This is one book that will be hanging out on my e-reader!

Corpse Days Virtual Book Tour

Corpse Days
Jonathon Kane

Genre:  Horror

ASIN: B007YT8V9M

Number of pages:  169

Word Count:  53,132

Cover Artist:  Steven Novak

Amazon   Barnes and Noble  

Book Description:

Is this the end of the world? Is the Rapture upon us? Has a Zombie Apocalypse arrived? That's a matter of opinion, but it doesn't hurt to be a licensed Shooter in these uncertain times.

Meet Stan Norton - a middle-aged Shooter with a haunting past. He wants little to do with the living dead and less to do with the living, until that is, a mysterious young woman with an affinity for guns and martial arts enters his life. An adventure begins and the hunt is on for a reclusive enemy, as the clock ticks down toward a full-blown resurgence of the Corpse Days.

Short Excerpt:

“So what do you say, Stan?”

“Yeah, what do you say?  Wanna join our merry band of zombie hunters?” questioned Jay.

“You’re the only merry one,” played Javier.

“Yeah… I’m the merry one.”

“Seriously,” pleaded Heather with a hint of longing in her eyes.  “We could use one more.  Safety in numbers, Stan.”

“I’ll… have to think about it.”

“Okay.  Well, think about it at our place tonight then.  We have a cabin in the woods down the road from here… plenty of room, a king-sized bed, and the fridge is stocked full of beer,” she offered.

Stan contemplated the offer for a few seconds.  He was exhausted from the road trip and sore from his run-in with the living dead earlier.

“Sure, if you don’t mind.”

“Our place is your place,” called out Jay enthusiastically.

“Thanks.”

“Well boys, I got this one,” announced Heather to a receptive audience.

Stan got up so that Heather could get out of the booth.  She walked up to the counter, and paid the bill with cash.  As she collected her change, she noticed a news broadcast on a small television mounted up in the corner behind the register.  She listened closely to hear what the newscaster was saying over the noise of the restaurant.

“Earlier today, this video was shot of a man walking around downtown Mobile.”

The video was shaky.  Panned out, it showed the side view of a man in a well-tailored suit slowly walking down a sidewalk.  He was holding a briefcase.  No one else seemed to be around.  When the camera quickly zoomed in, the man still appeared to be perfectly normal.  He had dark, slicked back hair and short sideburns.  However, his profile was partially hidden due to the angle at which he was being shot, and when he turned his head, the reason why someone was filming him became dreadfully obvious.  He was facing the camera, but he was not looking into it.  He was not capable of looking into it because he had no eyes.  The frame froze there.

“Oh my gosh,” gasped a waitress who was standing next to Heather, looking up in awe.

And there it was—in the upper left corner of the screen—the poster child for the new zombie movement.  Where the windows to the soul would be, this thing had neither.  Its humanity left behind somewhere, yet inexplicably, it still moved on—transformed from someone with a purpose to something with a purpose.  Heather wondered if he ever had a soul to begin with.

“The man was processed by an off-duty police officer.  He has yet to be identified,” concluded the newscaster.

“This really is the end of the world, isn’t it?” asked the gum-chewing waitress, still staring at the grotesque image in the background.

“Depends on who you ask,” replied Heather coolly.

Oh I love this book. Full of grit, blood, guts and zombie full on fun. Jonathon Kane has my admiration for some great storytelling that had me pinned to the chair for a good long while while I read, flinging pages on my e-reader with abandon. A cheerful zombie apocalypse always makes my day. 

Great plot, dialog was straight up awesome and believable and I loved the flow of the book. You have to grab me with action and dialog that feels natural. If it doesn't, well, that is a turn off and it won't hold my attention for long. This book is well done. I liked the chapter breaks, the characters were ones I could get hooked into early and take me through a whole sitting. The scenes, like the one above grabbed you by the hair and make you watch as the world goes to hell and you are left standing wondering where you left that last box of Twinkies. Oh, and a baseball bat. *grin* Heather is a kick butt character that I really enjoyed.

Great read!!!

I hope we will be seeing more from Mr. Kane!

4.5/5

About the Author:

Corpse Days is Jonathon Kane's debut novel.  A zombie story was a natural fit for him, as he loves all things Halloween.  He felt he could bring human emotions other than just fear into this corner of the horror genre.  In high school, he began writing short stories.  However, only when Heather Storm came along—the main character of Corpse Days —did he realize a novel was possible.  Jonathon has recently finished the sequel to Corpse Days, titled The Calm Before.

https://sites.google.com/site/jonathonkanesite/

Trucker Ghost Stories: An Interview with Annie Wilder

In a uniquely entertaining book by a rising star, here are uncanny true tales of haunted highways, weird encounters, and legends of the road.

It may have happened to you; it’s happened to almost everyone who’s ever driven down a highway at night, or in the fog, or snow. Something suddenly appears: a flash of movement, a shadow...what was it? It could be, as the true stories in this book attest, a ghost.

These are true stories from the highways and byways of America. These firsthand accounts are as varied as the storytellers themselves—some are detailed and filled with the terror and suspense that made people feel they had to share what happened to them with others; others are brief and straightforward retellings of truly chilling events.

Here is a chupacabra attack on the desert highway between L.A. and Las Vegas; ghost trains and soldiers; UFOs; the prom girl ghost of Alabama; a demon in Texas, and other accounts of the creepy, scary things that truckers and other drivers and passengers told to editor Annie Wilder.

With so many different stories, Trucker Ghost Stories moves beyond the usual haunted house to offer stories to entice any ghost story reader...and anyone who’s ever wondered...

TRUCKER GHOST STORIES

And Other True Tales of Haunted Highways, Weird Encounters, and Legends of the Road

Edited by Annie Wilder

“Soon summer’s campfires will be extinguished, but it’s not too late to study up on scary stories to pack along with the marshmallows.

These “true first-person accounts of strange encounters on the highways and byways of America” include the tale of the “Alabama Prom Girl Ghost,”

the always popular “Hitchhiker in Red” and the unbelievable (we mean just that) “Kentucky Train Track Monster.”

-- NY Daily News

An Interview with Annie:

1.  How did you get started with paranormal investigations?

I wrote a book about my experiences living in a house filled with ghosts and the investigators came calling.

2.     What was your favorite thing about writing this book? Reading the ghost stories that came in and hanging out occasionally on the online trucking forums. I like the colorful vernacular and blue-collar vibe of trucker world. Also, I ‘ve really enjoyed working with some of the truckers and other contributors who are now writing their own books, or finishing up books or stories they started years ago. 

3.     What is the weirdest story you have ever heard or experienced? That’s a hard question to answer; there are so many good stories in the book…The hitchhiker who had goat legs and hooves was pretty weird. Or the skinwalker chasing two boys in a pickup truck in Arizona.  There’s a witch story in the book that filled me with a sense of dread. Lots o’ weirdness out there on the roads — I think we captured some of the best of it with this book.

4. Open up the book to any page and tell us what is happening.

 It’s nighttime. A trucker is driving solo near the Little Big Horn Battlefield in Montana. He hears a voice saying, “Can you help me?” coming from inside the truck. In the driver’s words:

“Now I am running 68 mph at the time. I looked over and there in buckskins was Custer, plain as day. He said, ‘I need reinforcements’ and disappeared.”

4.     Tell us about your other books, House of Spirits and Whispers and Spirits Out of Time.

My first book, House of Spirits and Whispers, is my account of living in a house haunted by spirits and characterized by astral anomalies of all kinds. The main house spirit, Leon, described the house to one of the psychics as “Grand Central Station for ghosts.”

My second book is a book of true family ghost stories from my Irish and German relatives, and has stories of things ranging from fairies and death coaches to animal omens, Bloody Mary, and a mysterious ghost girl.

6. Pepperoni pizza or sushi?

   Pepperoni pizza. No. Sushi. Ever.

7. Margaritas or sparkling water with lime?

   Is a tequila shot an option?

8. What is it like having your home investigated by ghost hunters?

It’s interesting and novel and usually fun. It also requires a lot of trust, since you’re letting strangers go through your home. I do request that all visitors in my home be respectful of my property and of the beings residing here, whether they are physical, spirit, or animal. I also ask guests not to summon or invite anything into my house that isn’t already here.

The group that investigated most recently told me that when I left for a few minutes to walk our dog, the atmosphere of the house changed. It became more guarded, as though the spirits were nervous about the investigators being there without me in the house. I thought that was pretty cool.

What have you found out about the haunting?

Hmmm, this is hard to answer, since it’s kind of a neverending ghost story. Each psychic, paranormal investigator, and sometimes the haunted tea party guests add a bit of information or some new insight to the story.

I talk about recent investigation findings, plus the latest weird happenings, quite often on my Facebook page. I also have a bunch of material that I plan to use in additional books.

9. Tell us about what you are working on now.

I’m collaborating with the house spirits on my next book, a short Q&A, but with the spirits providing answers to the questions I’m most often asked by readers or by my haunted tea party guests.

There’s a psychic in Texas, Linda Drake, who is really good at getting really interesting and informative responses from the ghosts in my house. So I booked a couple of readings with Linda and, as I had hoped, the spirits had a lot to say. I’m working now on following up on some of their comments to see if I can corroborate or add any details. I think it’ll be a fun book to read.

10. What are some of your favorite spooky reads?

I started reading Anne Rice’s The Witching Hour when I lived alone and it was so terrifying to me that I had to put it away for a few years. I started reading it again when one of my kids moved back home for a bit and got weirdly hooked on it, even though I found it so frightening that I was almost afraid of the book itself — as if the story’s evilness could seep out of the pages and into my house.

In nonfiction spooky reads, I love Colin Wilson’s Poltergiest and FATE Magazine. I’m also a huge fan of the fabulous UK magazine Fortean Times. And I’m reading all of Nick Redfern’s books now and digging them.

Thanks Annie for hanging out with the zombies today!! Weird is wonderful and we can't wait to read your book.

Three Parts Dead Virtual Tour and Guest Blog

A tale of intrigue, a murdered god, and the business of necromancy,

THREE PARTS DEAD by Max Gladstone

is an intriguing urban fantasy set in a phenomenally built alternate reality!

“The combination of legal thriller and steam-powered fantasy may seem improbable, but Gladstone makes it work with an appealing cast and a setting rich

with imaginative details…. the story remains suspenseful and fast-paced throughout, and the diverse, female-led cast is a joy

to follow through the fascinating and unusual landscape.”

-- Publishers Weekly «starred review«

“Sci-fi, fantasy and a murder mystery all rolled in one…really exciting and fast paced with unexpected twists and turns. It culminates in a big surprise ending.”

—RT Book Reviews

A god has died, and it’s up to Tara, first-year associate in the international necromantic firm of Kelethres, Albrecht, and Ao, to bring Him back to life before His city falls apart.

Her client is Kos, recently deceased fire god of the city of Alt Coulumb. Without Him, the metropolis’s steam generators will shut down, its trains will cease running, and its four million citizens will riot.

Tara’s job: resurrect Kos before chaos sets in. Her only help: Abelard, a chain-smoking priest of the dead god, who’s having an understandable crisis of faith.

When Tara and Abelard discover that Kos was murdered, they have to make a case in Alt Coulumb’s courts—and their quest for the truth endangers their partnership, their lives, and Alt Coulumb’s slim hope of survival.

Set in a phenomenally built world in which justice is a collective force bestowed on a few, craftsmen fly on lightning bolts, and gargoyles can rule cities, Three Parts Dead introduces readers to an ethical landscape in which the line between right and wrong blurs.

ZombieGirl Shambling Guest blog

Dead Gods

By Max Gladstone

      How does a god die?  And what happens afterward?

      We don’t think of gods as mortal, but they do perish.  Dead gods litter history.  Some of their names we know, like Mithras; some we only call “God A,” or “the Staff God,” deities robbed of everything but symbol.

Some even die before history crushes them, inside their own myths or those of others.  Baldur dies, stabbed by mistletoe, robbed of resurrection.  Cronos dies at his children’s hands.  The various waves of gods that settled Ireland die, killed and displaced by their successors, until a final truce allows the Tuatha De Danaan to dwindle away in relative peace, reduced to “fair folk.”  Some think these myths record movements of history: tribes displaced, one group of conquerors giving way to the next.  Maybe so, maybe not—it’s a cool thesis, though, and gods, especially old-model gods, do seem tied to a certain people, a certain way of life and a certain time.

And as times (and ways of life) change, gods change in response to them.  Older gods are displaced by younger.  Apollo becomes god of prophecy in addition to plague by killing the Pythia—another dead god for our list—and assumes her powers.

So gods change.  They grow with their nations, and they die with them.

Our modern world might not be ruled by gods in the ancient Greek model, but impersonal, immaterial, and fickle forces do shape our destiny.  Back in 2008 when the recession started, people looked around as if the sky were falling.  Immaterial calamity had a dramatic, and direct, impact on the world we inhabit.

Three Parts Dead takes that image and runs with it.  What if the passing of gods caused the passing of nations, not the other way around?  A god’s death would lead to a crisis—institutions failing, people rioting in the streets.  New gods might rise in the vacuum, of course, or other powers step forth to take their place.  But there would be parties anxious to stem the tide of social unrest, to preserve the status quo, by bringing the dead god back to life.

Of course, these parties would have their own agenda.  Not everyone would want the god returning from death to be the same one who died.  Those arguments would play out at the highest levels of power, politics, and religion, down to the streetcorner prophet.  Death and resurrection become the subject of courtroom drama and political scheming.

My main character, Tara, stands in the middle this chaos: a young necromancer trying to make her way in the world independent of gods, she’s nevertheless tasked with bringing a god back to life.

And when she starts to ask the question of how this god died, and why, the answers she finds will shake the foundations of the city she’s come to save.

Blog: http://www.maxgladstone.com

Twitter: @maxgladstone

Bio:  Max has taught in southern Anhui, wrecked a bicycle in Angkor Wat, and been thrown from a horse in Mongolia. Max graduated from Yale University, where he studied Chinese.